Let's Talk: Types of Abuse

When people think of domestic violence, they imagine a situation where the abusive partner causes physical injury to their intimate partner. However, physical harm is only one form of domestic violence. There are several categories of abusive behavior, each of which has its own consequences. Understanding the different types of domestic abuse can help someone experiencing abuse understand their relationship and take steps to stay safe in the future.

Verbal/Emotional Abuse

Verbal/Emotional abuse is any non-physical behavior an abusive partner says or does that manipulates or controls your feelings and/or behaviors that make you afraid and causes harm. Verbal & Emotional abuse may include:

  • Name calling and/or putdowns

  • Constant criticism

  • Yelling and/or screaming

  • Threats to harm their partner, themselves, their friends or loved ones, pets, etc.

  • Withholding affection or giving the silent treatment

  • Controlling what their partner wears (clothing, makeup, hairstyles, etc.)

  • Constant monitoring - where their partner goes, who they talk to, or who they spend time with

  • Gaslighting

  • Isolation from friends and/or family

  • Telling their partner that they deserve the abuse/to be mistreated and/or that they do not deserve love

A partner who uses verbal/emotional abuse does so in order to control their partner by discrediting, isolating, and silencing them.

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is the use of finances or resources by one partner against the other. Financial abuse may include:

  • Taking their partner’s money or paycheck

  • Not allowing their partner to work or forcing their partner to quit or lose their job

  • Giving an allowance and/or closely watching how their partner spends money

  • Refusing to give money for necessities and/or shared expenses (food, clothing, transportation, medical care, etc.)

  • Preventing their partner from accessing money and/or bank accounts

  • Stealing money from one partner and/or their loved ones

  • Ruining a their partner’s credit

  • Withholding insurance cards, threatening to cancel insurance, and/or preventing their partner from seeking medical services (including therapy)

By using or misusing their partner’s money without their permission, the abuser controls their partner’s actions and freedom and further isolates them and puts up roadblocks to leaving and seeking services.

Digital Abuse

Digital abuse is the misuse of technology to bully, harass, stalk, or intimidate a partner. Digital abuse may include:

  • Sending threats via text, social media, or email

  • Stalking social media accounts and/or internet usage

  • Tracking their partner’s location through social media or other apps

  • Logging into social media or email accounts without permission

  • Constant calls and/or texts to their partner to “check in”

  • Forcing their partner to share passwords and account information

  • Monitoring their partner’s activity on their phone, computers, and other devices

It’s important to recognize that it is not the technology that causes the abuse but is the abuser misusing technology. Online services and social media should be open and safe for everyone to use.

 

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is any intentional, unwanted contact with your body by the abuser or an object within the abuser’s control - it does not have to leave a bruise or mark. Physical abuse may include:

  • Pushing, hitting, kicking, hair pulling, scratching , etc.

  • Throwing objects

  • Blocking entrances/exits

  • Using or threatening to use weapons against their partner (guns, knives, mace, other objects)

  • Choking/strangulation

  • Reckless driving or other behaviors such as abandoning their partner in specific places

Physical abuse is easier to recognize because it is harder to disguise, and often more overt than emotional abuse. Physical abuse may be an indicator that the level of abuse, and danger, has escalated for someone experiencing domestic violence.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is any action that an abuser uses to persuade, force, or coerce their partner to engage in sexual activity - for any reason. Sexual abuse may include:

  • Forced sex or rape

  • Coerced or unwanted sex

  • Controlling or disrupting birth control, or access to birth control

  • Manipulating or forcing their partner to have sex or perform sexual acts

  • Cheating or threatening to cheat

  • Forcing or persuading their partner to send inappropriate or unwanted photos

  • Forcing a partner to (not) have children or to get pregnant

  • Making their partner feel as though they have to do something because they are in a relationship

Sexual abuse is a difficult aspect of domestic violence to discuss and sometimes identify. It’s important to remember that everyone is allowed to say no, even in a relationship- everyone deserves to have their boundaries respected.

Remember, no one deserves to feel unsafe in their relationship or experience any form of abuse. If you or someone you know may be a victim of domestic violence, or if you recognize any of these warning signs, help is available.

We are always here for you when you need to talk. Call or text our 24-Hour Helpline: 216.391.4357 (HELP) or live chat.

#DVAMcle #DVAM2023 #Every1KnowsSome1

journey blogMegan GergenJourney Center, Blog